Have you ever noticed how most politicians are masters at NOT answering questions? Whenever a topic becomes uncomfortable, they smoothly and proficiently twist the conversation right back around to a subject they prefer talking about. That is the talent that allows them to always shine – even in tense situations. That is the skill that gets them elected.
But were they born with those snake-like abilities? Of course not! Those skills need to be trained and ingrained – particularly if English is not your first language. If you can memorize an arsenal of phrases that will give you just a little more time to think, while still staying professional, you will always keep the upper hand and never have to say to yourself, “I wish I had said…”
So let’s go over a few of the techniques and phrases we can memorize and pull out of our hats whenever we are in uncomfortable situations, heated negotiations, or just not quite ready to give a straight answer.
1. Ask for clarification.
You might not need clarification, but ask for it anyway. It will give you time to think.
- Would you mind rephrasing the question? I didn’t quite understand.
- Could you repeat (rephrase) that?
- Would you elaborate more on that?
- Have I understood you correctly?
2. Give reassurance.
Whenever someone makes a complaint, instead of stammering or going on the defensive, making excuses or placing blame (which makes you look weak and unprofessional), try these phrases to reassure the other party and give yourself just a moment to gather your thoughts. Then come back with an answer that addresses their “true” concern, or highlights your strength.
- I’d like to reassure you about that.
- There is no need for concern on that point.
- I can understand your concern but…
- There is really no need for worry on that front.
3. Use throw-away phrases.
They don’t really have meaning, nor do they add to the conversation, but they will give you more time to think!
- That’s a very interesting question.
- I’m glad you asked that question.
- That is something I have been thinking about as well.
4. Answer with another question.
If you don’t want to give an answer, try shooting a different answer right back. This gives you a little more time to come up with a decent answer or form your own opinion.
Q: What would you like for dinner?
A. What would YOU like for dinner?
Q: Can you offer us a better deal this time?
A: Have you considered exclusive contracts?
5. Just say no.
We often feel uncomfortable saying no, particularly in English-speaking cultures. So it is good to have some polite phrases memorized to say no while still staying professional.
- Well, that would depend on several factors that we need to look at more closely.
- Perhaps I could answer that question later.
- I’d really prefer not to comment on that for the moment.
Once you have a few of these phrases memorized, start slipping them into conversations. You need to practice them so that they move from your passive vocabulary into your active vocabulary. Once they are part of your active vocabulary, you will be prepared to use them the next time you are in one of those uncomfortable situations and you need to give yourself a little bit more time to think.